Of all the wonderful reforms you have to look forward to once I declare myself Universal Dictator for Life (with an option to renew) is that I’m outlawing loud motorcycles. There’s no need for the noise. “But it makes me feel manly,” I hear you whining, and to that I say, “Seriously?” John Wayne was in a movie called The Quiet Man. So: deal.
I’ve got motorcycles on the brain for a few resons: (1) My mom dated a guy who I’m pretty sure was in a motorcycle gang because she gets real weird-like when we pass a Harley Davidson dealership; (2) I have a complicated story that I’ll tell you all privately at another time about how once this couple came to my house for a weird dinner and they had a motorcycle and I was mortified; (3) This story from Auckland NOW about some New Zealand Hell’s Angels (?!?) who are in deep with the law for unlawful debt collecting.
According to Auckland NOW: “The charges relate to Sisson’s involvement in the companies Rapid Recovery 2010 Ltd and Dirty Debtors Ltd which had a website to name and shame people owing debt.”
But that’s not all. Andrew Sisson, one of the Hell’s Angels, is also facing charges of unlawful rifle-carrying; using said unlawful rifle to carry out the aforementioned illegal debt collecting; and, most damning of all: “destroying fallow deer that were property of the Crown.” As in, Queen Elizabeth II’s fallow deer.
The Hell’s Angels were caught in a sting operation where an undercover police officer posed as a debtor named William Baker. Or, rather, “William Baker.” Sisson and his cronies, who did work for a variety of New Zealand companies like Rapid Recovery 2010 Ltd and, my personal favorite (or favourite), Dirty Debtors Ltd. (a company with a site that regularly published the names of debtors in order to shame them into paying their debt), used a document titled “warrant to repossess” to take a Toyota Hilux ute and Dingo Digger from an undercover police officer and can we just talk for a moment about how ridiculous a car called a Dingo Digger must be? Eesh.
All the cards haven’t yet fallen on Sisson and his fellow Angels. For now, though, Sisson has been ordered not to associate with debt collectors from the two companies, not to work alone as a debt collector, and not to use anyone else to work as collectors under his instructions.
Sisson probably did a lot of angry loud motorcycling afterwards. God I hate motorcycles.