This had not been Chief Content Officer Michael Klozotsky’s first dance with the Kidney Stone Devil. Last year he had one that we named Jamie Lee Kidney (or, sometimes, Kidney Lee Curtis), and it was terrible because I don’t even really need to explain why, do I? There are ROCKS in your– GAH.

So, he has them again, the kidney stones, Jamie Lee Kidney, and this time It’s Personal, and we’re a pretty small office, so when one of us is down, it’s sort of like we’re ALL down. We’re fortunate to work for a company that offers us health insurance, so that stays in the hospital aren’t the equivalent of setting your wallet on fire, but that fire lasts forever, and you’ll never have money again.

We’re fortunate. We’re lucky. Because we work for a company that sees us not as line items on a budget, but as individuals with kidney stones that are slowly poisoning us. Does it cost our organization? Sure. Should it cost our organization? I think so — it’s a cost of business. If you want to employ human beings, you need to care for them as human beings.

All this is just to say: Michael Klozotsky is out of the office this week with kidney stones. It’s The Worst. And we all wish him a speedy recovery. And I’m hoping to make a mood ring out of passed stones. (Look for them on my Etsy shop I’ve not yet set up.)

Monday headlines:

Editor’s Note, Because I Love All of You: There are no April Fool’s jokes in today’s Healthcare Daily Digest because I HATE April Fool’s jokes. They’re the worst and undermine trust and I think we’re sociopathic enough as a society without having a day that gives carte blanche to jerks. You’re welcome.

AGAIN with the Medicare Fraud: “A southern New Jersey physician who owns a business that provides home-based medical services has admitted billing Medicare for lengthy visits to elderly patients that they did not receive.” For the love of PASTRY, people: is it REALLY that easy to bilk Medicare? Is it the new Andy Warhol paradigm, “In the future, everyone will bilk Medicare for five minutes”?

Universal Health Care Shutdown Likely to Affect Seniors: “Nearly 900 elderly Southwest Florida residents who have Medicare Advantage coverage with Universal Health Care need to switch to a new managed-care plan or accept traditional Medicare.” This is Florida-focused — (and I’m kinda mad at Florida right now because of the manatees; email me later if you want to talk about that) — but likely to be a Thing across the country.

Employers/Insurers To Foot Healthcare Reform Fees: “Self-insured plan sponsors (including Health Reimbursement Arrangements) and/or insurers will need to pay up to three new fees as part of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA). The IRS and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) recently issued final regulations that detail these fees.”

Oh, Alabama: “Alabama is projected to see the one of the biggest spikes in individual health care spending once the next key provisions of the Affordable Care Act go into effect next year, according to a study.” (I have some theories about why this might be the case, but they’re Not Kind.)

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