Apollo Nida, a name you don’t need to know but probably do, set up a fake collection agency as one of the many schemes he came up with to try to compete with his wife, Phaedra Parks, another person whom you should spend zero percent of your brain remembering.

Parks is an actress on a television show called “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” It is a fictional show, populated with garbage monsters masquerading as human beings, and you are a lesser human being if you watch it. Even if you’re sick at home and you think that’s an excuse, it isn’t. You are better than that show.

Citing Parks’s $600,000 contract, Nida claimed he felt pressure to keep up. Rather than capitalizing on his bland good looks and penchant for velvet jackets coupled with unbuttoned International Male-era shirts, Nida thought he’d try his hand at fraud. Or, rather, frauds, plural.

  • Laundering more than $2.3 million
  • Stealing identities from more than 50 people
  • Setting up fake bank accounts
  • Cashing U.S. Treasury checks
  • Cashing Delta Airlines pension fund checks
  • Filing fraudulent U.S. income tax returns
  • That aforementioned fake collection agency
  • A fake auto dealership

Nida faces up to 30 years behind bars, fines of up to $1 million, and restitution of the more than $2 million he defrauded.

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