Long-time friend of the show Bill Bartmann is being wooed by the state of Nevada to open a satellite office in the Battle Born State. (Did you guys know that Nevada has been ranked as the most dangerous state in the U.S. for five years in a row? That’s American can-do spirit in action right there! Five years!) (Also: the state tartan — a Scottish pattern seen on a lot of kilts — was designed by a Polish man named Richard Zygmunt Pawlowski. Little known fact. You’re welcome.)

The wooing is taking the form of tax-break incentives to the tune of “$538,106 in sales and business tax abatements in addition to $33,600 in sales tax deferrals,” according to the Las Vegas Sun.

Bartmann’s new operation, CFS II (as opposed to the original CFS operation which was shut down for a variety of pesky financial reasons involving bankruptcy — but Bartmann’s totally the man to change the industry!), is currently based in Tulsa, Oklahoma. (The Sooner State, y’all! State meal: fried okra, squash, cornbread, barbecue pork, biscuits, sausage and gravy, grits, corn, strawberries, chicken fried steak, pecan pie, and black-eyed peas.) Bartmann could decide as early as March whether or not to branch out in Nevada.

Nevada isn’t the only one winking at the former friend of Mother Theresa. Itching for a spot on CFS II’s dance card are North Carolina (state beverage: milk), Illinois (Land of Lincoln) and Nebraska (state soft drink: Kool-Aid).

Things that make CFS II an attractive business partner for any state lucky enough to have it: Bartmann expects to be able to pay around $19.87 an hour, and will invest $1.7 million into whatever state he ends up in.

Now. However. There is this:

The current, Tulsa-based CFS II recently cut 16 percent of its workforce — going from 220 down to 185. But! Bartmann explained that that number represents 16 percent of his workforce who were poor performers and were let go due to employee performance reviews. So…


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